What do elves and swords and giant spiders have to do with post-apocalyptic fiction? Find out in this mind-blowing piece by Kyle B. Stiff!
Hey readers, I just wanted to give my thanks to all of you that have been reading Demonworld and Heavy Metal Thunder. (Of course, I’m opening this post with a thanks because I’m about to ask for something. Typical behavior for me, I know.)
Demonworld doesn’t get advertised on billboards or bookstore handouts. My advertising budget is exactly zero dollars. People only find out about Demonworld by word of mouth or the occasional (and probably accidental) highlight from Amazon in the form of “customers who bought this also bought…” So the people who find Demonworld have to go out of their way to find it. They’re seekers who want more than the usual offering. So for those of you out there reading Demonworld… THANKS. I mean that. You’ve given me the opportunity to tell stories, and I’m eternally grateful for that.
So here’s what I want. More people buy the first book than any other. That makes sense: A lot of people get the first book, then think, “Oh good Lord, this is not what I thought it was going to be.” However, people who get the second book tend to read the entire series (which is up to five books as of now). There’s a decent chunk of people reading the series, but reviews for each book are still in the single digits! I don’t know if you guys know this, but reviews sell books.
So… let’s get some reviews! Demonworld needs you. Little Wodi needs you. Kyle B. Stiff needs you. If you’ve got five minutes, please check out my Amazon author page, pick a book, and show Demonworld some love!
Because sellin’ them books is the only way we’re ever going to see some Demonworld movies.
Captain Kyle B. Stiff stood at the prow of his futuristic warship while the crew rushed about, unsure of their roles or proper seating arrangement but still determined to find the fabled fifth Demonworld Book – Lords of the Black Valley.
One crew member approached the mad captain, who whirled on him dramatically. Captain Kyle B. Stiff was leathery beyond belief due to his frequent naps in the tanning bed while planning this endeavor. “Sir!” shouted the crew member. “When do you think we’ll find book five?”
“That’s easy!” said the Captain. “The fifth of November.”
“But why so long?!” said another. “Most great writers can crank out a book every month!”
“Relax,” said the Captain. He reached down and tore his pants off, then cast them to an assistant who would mend them. “We’re gonna settle in, take it easy, and do this thing the right way.”
A sea of blood churned beneath the ship. Huge mountains of dead fish towered overhead. Pinprick lights from the eyes of rabid dolphins blinked on the distant, black horizon. The Captain steeled his resolve, ordered that his tanning bed be cranked up to full power, then disappeared belowdecks.
The month and a half long wait is over. The third Demonworld book is now available for kindle on Amazon.
The work was grueling but my captors allowed me a short break from the basement as a reward for my efforts. My eyes were unaccustomed to the light and the vulgar display of the natural world that most of you enjoy every day. After looking at the blue sky for a few moments, I threw up uncontrollably, then one of the men who is charged with guarding my life (and preventing my escape) ordered me to return to the basement and continue my work. “Hurry up,” he said. “Boss wants the fourth book pretty soon.”
“He liked the third one?” I asked.
“Yeah, yeah, he said it was fine or whatever,” said the guard. “Just hurry up and get back down there. You smell fuckin’ awful, man.”