Kyle B. Stiff Update: Vlad the Impaler

Hello! Kept you waiting, huh?

Sorry for the long absence. My life went through a big shakedowns in which god-level cosmic forces steamrolled through every aspect of my existence. Everything that wasn’t nailed down was carried off only to be flung into a raging inferno. When my team of doctors finally let me out of the resurrection chamber, I was unrecognizable even to my own mother, with an elbow on my forehead and a spinal column dangling where my you-know-what used to be.

But I’m all better now! In fact, I’m in a situation where I can write for your enjoyment for hours and hours, each and every day. I really lucked out! In a few months I’ll start writing DEMONWORLD BOOK SEVEN: THE DEMON WAR. But first, I need to finish this short series of historical fiction books that I’ve been researching for so long. The series is called VOIVOD, and it’s about the life of Vlad the Impaler, also known as Dracula. I’m going for historical accuracy, which means there’s not going to be any vampires, or frankenfurters, nor any bigfeets or Loch Ness Monsters from the Black Lagoon. But don’t worry, the life of Vlad the Impaler was way more interesting than a bunch of drama club queens biting each other on the neck and collecting “swag” and “merch” from Hot Topic.

Mircea the Elder

Vlad was at the forefront of a war waged for slaves, and he took a stand that most people will never know about. His life story was written by his enemies. Once you strip away the propaganda, you’re left with a story about a man who was taken from his family, fought a war against child slavery, and was remembered as a monster. I’m going to release all four books fairly close to one another, all before the end of 2017 if things go according to plan. (Don’t worry, things never go according to plan.)

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For readers of Demonworld and Heavy Metal Thunder, forgive me for the delay. I had to write this Vlad series because I was starting to become obsessed. I was reading book after book and having strange dreams and waking up overcome with emotion. I had an intense sense of betrayal, and after studying Vlad’s life, it made sense. The good news, for my regular readers, is that Heavy Metal Thunder Book Three: SLAUGHTER AT MASADA, is already written. The wizards and warriors at Cubus Games will begin work on the app any day now!

Mihael the Brave
Also, after my recent life changes, I’m a lot more aware of the fact that any of us can go at any minute. After I finish the series about Vlad, I might just go ahead and finish all of the Demonworld books. You guys have waited long enough!

The Official Kyle B. Stiff Update

Hey everyone, thought I’d give you an update. I’m sure the few but formidable fans of Demonworld and Heavy Metal Thunder are wondering when the next book is coming out. These days I’ve started the process (once again) of finding an agent. I have to accept that I’m not very good at self-promotion, so self-publishing is never going to take off for me. I need the hideous strength of the established world of publishing. Instead of fighting for one reader here and one reader there, I need books with nice covers spewing out of giant bookstores where people can’t even get in the door without being assaulted by posters and displays telling them that buying Demonworld is not a choice, but a necessity. That’s our path to victory, readers.

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But to get there, I need an agent. It’s been a while since I took part in the cycle of looking / finding / submitting / being rejected, so things have changed. I have to admit… agents have gotten weird. Sorry, but it’s true. Back in the day, they used to say, “I publish science fiction. Send your manuscript to this address” or “I publish literature, here’s where I can be found.” These days, there’s a bit more dictation up front. The modern day superagent wants to find “the next big thing” rather than the next great read, and they’re getting specific. “I would love to receive a manuscript about a reluctant space pirate with a wise-cracking dog in a wheelchair!” or “Writers, I’m looking for a superhero zombie story with a sarcastic granny and a gay Vietnamese good-guy serial killer. Also must be reminiscent of Breaking Bad.” Uh… I’ve got six Demonworld books that readers seem to like, how’s that sound? No? Okay – see you later!

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As you can see, it’s a little frustrating. Obviously they want the humorous, quirky, short-lived cash cow, but I think it’s the dark stuff, the complicated and tragic tales, that endure. Lots of readers agree. Nobody ever read Game of Thrones or Stephen King or Dune or Wool or Joe Abercrombie because they wanted a light-hearted romp. Lots of readers want to see characters pushed beyond their limits. They don’t want the sitcom version of Tolkien. They want something that can grow with them.

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But I’m rambling. Basically I have to find an agent who believes in Demonworld just as much as I do, just as much as my readers do. Any help would be appreciated… maybe a collection of signatures? I don’t know. Like I said, I’m bad at this.

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But there’s only one path to victory, dear readers… and that path is guarded by the agents.

Don’t forget, the first Demonworld book is still free if you click here!

 

Demonworld Six Murders Readers’ Faces!

… and it’s using my worn-out body as a flail!

Hey everyone, Demonworld Book Six is now available at Amazon! It’s already gotten some great reviews; thank you, readers! It’s really nice to know that people are willing to give their time and attention to Wodan and his strange journey. It’s also good to know that you guys are enjoying the turns the story has taken. I was afraid people might think this installment of Demonworld was just too weird. But when you’re in a post-apocalyptic holy land contending with wasteland gods, weird is the norm.

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Click to…

See the book at Amazon!

See my updated Amazon author page and my massive array of textual oddities!

See the first Demonworld book, which is free!

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Thanks for sticking with me, readers! Let’s keep going until Wodi reaches the end of his path!

 

Demonworld 6 Now Available for Pre-Order!

Good news everyone! Demonworld Book Six: The Love of Tyrants is finally available for pre-order! Official release is on January 27th, 2016. But don’t wait until then! Those pre-order sales work Amazon’s ranking magic in my favor. Every pre-order sale helps initiate an alchemical process  that’s famous for turning struggling artists into living legends capable of shooting lightning, crapping molten magma, and flying while holding their breath!

 

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The sixth installment in the Demonworld epic follows Wodan as he visits the holy land of Srila. It’s about twice as long as a normal novel, and takes the story in a wild direction while revealing lots of stuff about the past. It’s the most intense Demonworld yet.

 

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I hope you enjoy it. Click here to see the book at Amazon, or click here to see my author page with all of my work that’s worth reading.

Remember, the first Demonworld book is free!

 

DEMONWORLD: DEADLINE

This is it my beautiful babes! Last time I checked, the Kickstarter for the Demonworld covers was down to 70 hours. That means we have three days to take the legendary icepick of wealth and use it to chip the ice away from my tender, gently-vibrating heart.

ZOZOBRA 'Savage Masters'

Pretend you’re in a SAW trap, and the only way out is to put a knife to your wallet’s throat and bleed it on the altar. What happens if you don’t have the will to sacrifice your wallet? I’ll tell you what happens… look out your window. Do you see the awful, gray, nightmarishly mediocre landscape out there? That’s no magical vision of hell, my friends – that’s a world in which Demonworld never got professional-looking covers and thus I never made any freakin’ money, which means the series will be relegated to obscurity, then oblivion. Horrifying? Yes! Possible?! Most definitely!!!

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Demonworld on Kickstarter!

Nobody gets excited about psychedelic records because they come in brown paper bags. I want nice covers for Demonworld just as much as the next guy. Enter: Kickstarter.

If you want to take part in the battle to give Demonworld a face-lift, or just stop by to see Kyle B. Stiff awkwardly flail about and beg for money, then go here.

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Begging for money 21st century style. If you thought starving artists were sexy before, wait til you see Poverty 2.0!

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Demonworld: PERMAFREE

Holy hell, it looks like Demonworld finally went PERMAFREE on Amazon.

Believe me, this book will make your balls drop, it’ll put your eggs in the microwave, and from now on it won’t cost a DIME to light your Kindle on fire with this thing. If you like reading about monsters getting shotgunned to death or guys with ritually mutilated bodies or she-demons having sex with big lizard creatures but you don’t want to pay one single cent for any of it, or if you just want to hang out with a brutal mystic on a spiritual journey through what can only be described as Hell (a.k.a. Earth), NOW’S YOUR CHANCE. Just click HERE or HERE or even, God willing, HERE.

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Or you can get your hands on almost any of my writings HERE. Who loves you but me?