I watch a lot of B-grade action movies and play a lot of video games, and it’s a habit of mine to make connections between our current stories and the stories of the past. I’m kind of like a poor man’s Joseph Campbell; I know all the old stories, but my IQ sits comfortably in the double digit range, and I’m more inclined to pick apart an argument from Youtube’s comments section rather than some long-ass philosophical treatise that doesn’t even have any pictures to go along with it. So if you’re a fuckin’ retard, you won’t have to worry about getting that terrible feeling that someone is “talking down” to you while you’re reading my stuff.
Here’s some random nonsense to get you in the mood for mythology.
Cave paintings in Australia. Whether these guys were getting harassed by gray aliens or just telling a story about big-headed spirits, it’s badass either way.
Ragnarok, the final battle in which the Norse gods (the Aesir) face the monstrous giants. It’s important to note that even though the gods knew that they would die, they still fought anyway. To these guys, the way they lived your life was more important than how long that life could last. Action trumped survival.
Odin, father of the gods, just fucking around with his eight-legged horse Sleipnir. If you had this tattooed on the small of your back, there’s no doubt that your boyfriend would be much more of a badass than if he watched ninety minutes of sitcoms every other day.
Commander Shepard from Mass Effect. This modern version of the “hero’s journey” places an importance on user-specific choices, but still incorporates the idea that a hero has to leave his comfort zone, think and act for himself, and stand against something so evil that most people cannot even wrap their minds around it, much less curb stomp it.
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Hey readers! If you liked this post, you should check out some of my books. I’ve got an epic series called Demonworld, which is equal parts Mad Max and Lord of the Rings (think “science fantasy”), and a much-loved gamebook series called Heavy Metal Thunder which is currently a hyperlinked Kindle book but will be a fancy phone app any day now.