Give Me Blood O My Readers

Hey readers, I just wanted to give my thanks to all of you that have been reading Demonworld and Heavy Metal Thunder. (Of course, I’m opening this post with a thanks because I’m about to ask for something. Typical behavior for me, I know.)

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Demonworld doesn’t get advertised on billboards or bookstore handouts. My advertising budget is exactly zero dollars. People only find out about Demonworld by word of mouth or the occasional (and probably accidental) highlight from Amazon in the form of “customers who bought this also bought…” So the people who find Demonworld have to go out of their way to find it. They’re seekers who want more than the usual offering. So for those of you out there reading Demonworld… THANKS. I mean that. You’ve given me the opportunity to tell stories, and I’m eternally grateful for that.

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So here’s what I want. More people buy the first book than any other. That makes sense: A lot of people get the first book, then think, “Oh good Lord, this is not what I thought it was going to be.” However, people who get the second book tend to read the entire series (which is up to five books as of now). There’s a decent chunk of people reading the series, but reviews for each book are still in the single digits! I don’t know if you guys know this, but reviews sell books.

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So… let’s get some reviews! Demonworld needs you. Little Wodi needs you. Kyle B. Stiff needs you. If you’ve got five minutes, please check out my Amazon author page, pick a book, and show Demonworld some love!

''Antichrist'' by Pedro Donini

Because sellin’ them books is the only way we’re ever going to see some Demonworld movies.

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Cloud Atlas: Formula for a Turd

One day I made the mistake of watching Cloud Atlas. I did this because I saw the trailer and thought the trailer was awesome. Not realizing that the trailer was a mishmash of formulaic horseshit designed to elicit an emotion from the viewer, I ended up feeling genuine surprise when, around hour four of this foot-long turd, I wanted to hunt down everyone associated with the production of this movie and put them so far deep in the ground that they would never be able to hurt us ever again.

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They went with “Everything is connected” only after the tagline “Everything is horseshit” was thumbs-downed by studio executives.

They went with “Everything is connected” only after the tagline “Everything is horseshit” was thumbs-downed by studio executives.

The Hunt for Demonworld Book 5

Captain Kyle B. Stiff stood at the prow of his futuristic warship while the crew rushed about, unsure of their roles or proper seating arrangement but still determined to find the fabled fifth Demonworld Book – Lords of the Black Valley.

One crew member approached the mad captain, who whirled on him dramatically. Captain Kyle B. Stiff was leathery beyond belief due to his frequent naps in the tanning bed while planning this endeavor. “Sir!” shouted the crew member. “When do you think we’ll find book five?”

“That’s easy!” said the Captain. “The fifth of November.”

“But why so long?!” said another. “Most great writers can crank out a book every month!”

“Relax,” said the Captain. He reached down and tore his pants off, then cast them to an assistant who would mend them. “We’re gonna settle in, take it easy, and do this thing the right way.”

A sea of blood churned beneath the ship. Huge mountains of dead fish towered overhead. Pinprick lights from the eyes of rabid dolphins blinked on the distant, black horizon. The Captain steeled his resolve, ordered that his tanning bed be cranked up to full power, then disappeared belowdecks.

Demonworld

Demonworld Book One now available for Kindle download at Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/Demonworld-ebook/dp/B007TD9246/

Earth at the end of the Age of Capricorn

The first installment of an epic saga over ten years in the making is now available at Amazon for only three bucks (actually FREE if you go before the end of 4/17/2012). My first review said that it was like a cross between Lord of the Rings and Mad Max. Sounds good to me!

I’m going on a rampage trying to get the first seven books online within the next few weeks or months. It’s a fact that anyone who read advance copies loved the series, and the one person who hated it stood outside my house with a baseball bat, screaming obscenities and waiting for me to leave so that he could take my life in front of all my neighbors, which is a pretty good sign that Demonworld leaves no soul unaffected.

Now if I can just get Macaulay Culkin to play Wodi in the movie version…