Give Me Blood O My Readers

Hey readers, I just wanted to give my thanks to all of you that have been reading Demonworld and Heavy Metal Thunder. (Of course, I’m opening this post with a thanks because I’m about to ask for something. Typical behavior for me, I know.)

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Demonworld doesn’t get advertised on billboards or bookstore handouts. My advertising budget is exactly zero dollars. People only find out about Demonworld by word of mouth or the occasional (and probably accidental) highlight from Amazon in the form of “customers who bought this also bought…” So the people who find Demonworld have to go out of their way to find it. They’re seekers who want more than the usual offering. So for those of you out there reading Demonworld… THANKS. I mean that. You’ve given me the opportunity to tell stories, and I’m eternally grateful for that.

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So here’s what I want. More people buy the first book than any other. That makes sense: A lot of people get the first book, then think, “Oh good Lord, this is not what I thought it was going to be.” However, people who get the second book tend to read the entire series (which is up to five books as of now). There’s a decent chunk of people reading the series, but reviews for each book are still in the single digits! I don’t know if you guys know this, but reviews sell books.

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So… let’s get some reviews! Demonworld needs you. Little Wodi needs you. Kyle B. Stiff needs you. If you’ve got five minutes, please check out my Amazon author page, pick a book, and show Demonworld some love!

''Antichrist'' by Pedro Donini

Because sellin’ them books is the only way we’re ever going to see some Demonworld movies.

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Cloud Atlas: Formula for a Turd

One day I made the mistake of watching Cloud Atlas. I did this because I saw the trailer and thought the trailer was awesome. Not realizing that the trailer was a mishmash of formulaic horseshit designed to elicit an emotion from the viewer, I ended up feeling genuine surprise when, around hour four of this foot-long turd, I wanted to hunt down everyone associated with the production of this movie and put them so far deep in the ground that they would never be able to hurt us ever again.

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They went with “Everything is connected” only after the tagline “Everything is horseshit” was thumbs-downed by studio executives.

They went with “Everything is connected” only after the tagline “Everything is horseshit” was thumbs-downed by studio executives.

Demonworld Book 5: Lords of the Black Valley

The wait is finally over. The fifth Demonworld book is here, walking the earth, alive and eating stuff and available for your perusal!

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And yes, it’s a doozie. If you think your Kindle can handle it, click here to get your very own copy of Lords of the Black Valley!

Gustave Dore - The Fall of the Rebel Angels (1866)

The Hunt for Demonworld Book 5

Captain Kyle B. Stiff stood at the prow of his futuristic warship while the crew rushed about, unsure of their roles or proper seating arrangement but still determined to find the fabled fifth Demonworld Book – Lords of the Black Valley.

One crew member approached the mad captain, who whirled on him dramatically. Captain Kyle B. Stiff was leathery beyond belief due to his frequent naps in the tanning bed while planning this endeavor. “Sir!” shouted the crew member. “When do you think we’ll find book five?”

“That’s easy!” said the Captain. “The fifth of November.”

“But why so long?!” said another. “Most great writers can crank out a book every month!”

“Relax,” said the Captain. He reached down and tore his pants off, then cast them to an assistant who would mend them. “We’re gonna settle in, take it easy, and do this thing the right way.”

A sea of blood churned beneath the ship. Huge mountains of dead fish towered overhead. Pinprick lights from the eyes of rabid dolphins blinked on the distant, black horizon. The Captain steeled his resolve, ordered that his tanning bed be cranked up to full power, then disappeared belowdecks.

Demonworld Book 4: Shepherd of Wolves – Now Available!

The prison explodes and Demonworld Book 4: Shepherd of Wolves walks out wearing a pair of sunglasses and does not bother to look back at the rising mushroom cloud that marked its birth. My charred body is flung to the ground with a bacon-wet SPLAT, and with my final breath I pray that this latest installment in the Demonworld saga will have mercy on the world.

Hooked on Demonworld? Well go on and get you a copy of the latest installment right here.

Works on your Kindle, works on your computer, works in every way imaginable.

Want to see how the amazing Demonworld saga begins, but don’t have the patience to wait for the movie version? Then click here.

Demonworld Book 4 on Thursday, August 2

Sorry, readers! I have to delay the release of Demonworld Book 4: Shepherd of Wolves until Thursday, August 2, sometime late in the day. The heavily armed compound where I work was attacked by rivals. The enemy came with orders to kill me and my financial backers, but they left with stories of terror and confusion because we drove them off with such force. I was even released from the basement in order to help out with the cleanup. Now I am finally back to work. Unfortunately I was not allowed to take a shower, so I’m still coated in gore and bits of dried flesh. Your patience is greatly appreciated, dear readers!

In the meantime, here’s a short story for anyone with 99 cents to spare:

Demonworld Book Three: The Floyd Street Massacre

The month and a half long wait is over. The third Demonworld book is now available for kindle on Amazon.

The work was grueling but my captors allowed me a short break from the basement as a reward for my efforts. My eyes were unaccustomed to the light and the vulgar display of the natural world that most of you enjoy every day. After looking at the blue sky for a few moments, I threw up uncontrollably, then one of the men who is charged with guarding my life (and preventing my escape) ordered me to return to the basement and continue my work. “Hurry up,” he said. “Boss wants the fourth book pretty soon.”

“He liked the third one?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah, he said it was fine or whatever,” said the guard. “Just hurry up and get back down there. You smell fuckin’ awful, man.”

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