Gremlins and Your Family Bible

Watched Gremlins. Was haunted by the recurring Biblical themes. The following is a report of my findings. Note that the B. Stiff does not condone any slack-jawed devotion to one single religion, but a careful study of all stories.

God the Father

God the Father

The inventor dad is God the Father, the god of the Old Testament. The dad constantly invents new things; the god of the Old Testament shuns the old gods and the old ways of worshiping nature. He creates the rebellious animal, mankind, and places watchers over them.

The Old Gods

The old Chinese guy with the Marilyn Manson eye represents the old gods and the old ways of doing things, that is, worshiping nature in a hippie-like manner. He believes nature is something that has to be understood and respected rather than mastered – as such, there are strict rules for how to go about living on earth. Highly critical of the West and the idea of constant, frantic innovation.

Gizmo, the mogwai, represents the elohim, the “watchers” or “sons of God” placed on the earth to watch over man and track his development. But there are strict rules placed on the mogwai, just as the elohim were expected to abide by one simple rule: You don’t have sex with humans. In both cases, disaster would result by breaking the rules.

The mogwai are the elohim.

An elohim female keeps watch over the earth, turning a bunch of knobs and dials and shit, completely unaware that an all-male surface team is frantically banging a dozen native chicks.

In both Gremlins and the Bible, the rules are broken. In the case of Gremlins, fierce little monsters are produced when the rules are not followed. In the Old Testament, the unruly nephilim, or “sons of the fallen”, are produced when the elohim get slimy with their human charges. Both the gremlins and the nephilim cause all kinds of trouble. The general rule when dealing with both are to slay them on sight!

The gremlins are the nephilim, the “sons of the fallen”.

Just as the genetically impure were put to death by fire in Sodom and Gomorrah, so the gremlins are killed by a bigass fireball in a movie theatre. But this is not enough; evil is still rampant in the world. The Old Testament becomes the New Testament, and Gizmo switches roles from a hands-off elohim and becomes a Christ-like figure. He puts himself in danger and sacrifices himself by literally hanging from a wire that opens the blinds that let in light which burns Stripe to death, just as Christ was hung from a cross.

The name Gizmo is even similar to the name Jesus; two vowels, three consonants, two syllables, and the G and J sound are similar.

Christlike, furry, utterly adorable, and despises homosexuality and other un-American lifestyles.

I have to switch back to the Old Testament for the death of Spike, infamous father of the nephilim. He dies in a pool of water, just as many of the nephilim were killed in the great flood (the same one Noah built the ark in order to ride out).

Death by flood.


The biblical flood. Just another genocide on PENAL COLONY: EARTH.

Note the long absence of the inventor dad throughout the movie, just as God has been accused of being literally absent in human affairs. Throughout the movie the dad is on the phone, telling his family that he’s coming back, just as God the Father and God the Son were also known for making promises about their eventual arrival in order to straighten things out.

Hey readers! If you liked this post, you should check out some of my books. I’ve got an epic series called Demonworld, which is equal parts Mad Max and Lord of the Rings (think “science fantasy”), and a much-loved gamebook series called Heavy Metal Thunder which is currently a hyperlinked Kindle book but will be a fancy phone app any day now.

5 responses to “Gremlins and Your Family Bible

  1. I should have replied to these comments so long ago! Just wanted to say that everything you guys said is cool and correct, except for the Coast to Coast AM comment. I rarely listen to it because, horrifying enough, it listens to me; every time I try to listen to it, I hear a click-click-clicking behind my left ear, which is a dead giveaway that a neural wiretap is being turned on. Man I hate those things!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s