Inspiration for Fucking Nerds

The cool thing about being a nerd is that you can enjoy life while looking like a fucking moron. Everyone else has to do so much work keeping up appearances; it’s a known fact that nine out of ten hippies will experience half a dozen nervous breakdowns before the age of thirty because of the unendurable pressure that comes with appearing carefree and zen-like. But not nerds. If you’re a nerd, you can sit back, relax, and enjoy a powerful defecation in your recliner while watching anime and listening to video game soundtracks. Nobody will judge you because, in some sense, you are not even worth judging. You gave up before the race began.

But sometimes a nerd needs inspiration. Hardcore inspiration. The zombie apocalypse isn’t some fuckwipe meme that refers to a future date; it’s already happened. The world has been drained of color, sociopathic robots in the shape of men dictate the terms of existence, and the corpse of God is being picked over by bow-legged vultures. It’s a mess, dear reader, a bona fide shit-smeared mess.

Maybe in the future I’ll let you know who to kill and when to kill them, but until then, here’s some music to help you through the gauntlet of baseball bats and chains that make up the waking nightmare of your life.

I used to start my day with this jam. Basil Poledouris is a true son of Odin as far as I’m concerned.

Here’s one that will make you want to fight to take back the earth.

And it’s a fucking cold, hard fact that any human who listens to this next track can accomplish anything they set their will to.

*     *     *

Hey readers! If you liked this post, you should check out some of my books. I’ve got an epic series called Demonworld, which is equal parts Mad Max and Lord of the Rings (think “science fantasy”), and a much-loved gamebook series called Heavy Metal Thunder which is currently a hyperlinked Kindle book but will be a fancy phone app any day now.

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